It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
