Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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