i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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