You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
