Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm at about main and main street
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
