Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
