The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
