check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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