Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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