i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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