Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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