Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
