I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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