I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
