wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
