I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So much rum. So many feels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
