Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
