She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
