I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
