We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
