Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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