I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
