What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
