I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
