I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i believe in u and ur pee
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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