it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
