My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
