people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
