Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize