Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
