Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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