btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
