Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
