she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
