I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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