I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
