I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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