Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
