I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
