So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
