It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
