Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
