i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize