it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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