im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
