lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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