I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
In America we eat man semen.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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