i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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