and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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