he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
