I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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