i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
