ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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