Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
