Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
