when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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