fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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