I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
