Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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