thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there was a trapeze. enough said
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize