Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
