Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
