My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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