I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
