dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
