Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
