You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
