She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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