bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
